News of the Year

Alright guys, although the if you’re reading this, you’re probably stranded somewhere with a Christmas tree that refuses to talk to you, listening to the same CD for the twelfth time in eight hours, despite your secret undying hatred for seemingly innocent, though really mind controlling Christmas songs, in the northern half of some state (or quite possibly providence) that’s in the northern half of which ever country the plane you thought was flying to Springfield, where your family is waiting, landed, and so actually, when I say alright guys, I really mean, wow, your pathetic as I am.
So, it’s New Years, about 1:45 a.m. and apparently my parents stop believing in the magical New Year guy in a shinning tux with sunglasses shaped like which ever year the new year is, wearing a silver, glistening top-hat who comes to wish you a “Happy New Year” as though the old year was so utterly terrible that the only way to forget about it is to think about it so hard that you’ve forgotten what you’re thinking about. Oh, wait, I just got a note from the news room, lets see, hmm… oh, oh dear, it seems I am mistaken, my life has been a lie, for there is no “Magical New Year Guy”. What has the world come to? So, as I was saying, I’m sitting here in my room, because my parents decided, that despite the occasion, I should not be allowed to rome around the house. And, seeing as my bed dislikes me, and wont let me sleep, I thought I’d think up some New Year’s resolutions. So, here goes, however, I must warn you, as embarrassing as it seems, in all of my years of gaining life saving information, I have yet to think up some New Year resolutions and actually intend to think about them an hour after I thought them up.

In the 2007th year since the beginning of the counting of years (was it at Jesus’ birth or crussifiction that they started counting, or was it some twenty odd years after he was crucified when they decided he might have been of some importance to the world that they started keeping track, you never know, you know.) I am going to do the following…

1. Learn to express myself in better ways then speech more effectively.
2. Become less selfish and more... otherish.
3. Discover who and what I am.
4. Find more problems with my personality and fix them.
5. Live a life worthy of being lived by someone who isn’t me in hopes of becoming someone worthy of living my life.
6. Come up with better New Year’s Resolutions next year.

(or so I think)



HAPPY NEW YEAR!!